#500WED - Day 6

Writing Prompt

Cecily Kellogg:

Day 6 Prompt! Are you ready?
This is a memoir style prompt: I want you to tell a "carefully edited truth." Stories are full of facts, but not every fact tells the story you want to tell. I'd like you to try to tell a story both ways; first, as it actually happened – and then rewrite it to be more expressive, interesting, and entertaining by editing out the elements that don't need to be there. Each part should be short; just do 250 words for both. Challenge yourself to pull out the details in the second version that really put a fascinating spin on the story. Now go! :)

500 Words

As it actually happened [250 Words]

I was late to my haircut appointment this morning, because I overslept. I left the house with only about five minutes in which to get to my appointment. It was raining heavily, so I wore a raincoat, which was a tasteful bright orange.

I couldn't walk directly there, but had to take a detour, because the lady who cuts my hair doesn't take debit or credit cards. I therefore had to withdraw some cash from the local railway station's cash machine, a short walk from my house.

Ilkley station is a terminus, so after getting my cash I was able to walk around the end of the railway line, and head up the platform on the opposite side of the line from my house. Usually, I would walk across the foot bridge near to my house to get across the railway, which is a much more direct route.

I walked along the platform, and down some steps to the road. A short further walk, and I arrived at my appointment a little over five minutes late, which is not ideal but still within the bounds of reasonableness.

Hannah, who cuts my hair, was in a very chatty mood and asked me lots of questions about my recent doings and those of my family, while doing her usual excellent job of cutting my hair.

I walked home via the coffee shop, where I drank a Flat White and got a take-out caramel latte for my wife.

Edited version [250 Words]

It was always going to be a challenge. As soon as I opened my eyes this morning, I knew that I'd overslept, and soon after that I realised that I was probably going to be late for my haircut.

I leapt out of bed, and started rummaging around to find some clothes, any clothes. I threw them on, and grabbed my wallet and headed for the door. I glanced at the clock, only to discover that I was supposed to be sitting in The Chair in just five minutes time.

Outside the front door, I thought to look in my wallet only to discover that it didn't contain any money. This wasn't helpful, as Hannah, who cuts my hair, only takes cash. I considered the required detour and mentally added another ten minutes to my arrival time. I had to move fast.

I walked rapidly down the road towards Ilkley station where there is a cash machine attached to the Post Office. Fortunately, there was no queue. I snatched the £20 as soon as the machine dispensed it, and was off again. I rushed headlong along the platform, ran down the steps, and set off down the road at a fast pace.

I burst through the door, full of apologies. Hannah calmly sat me down and provided me with a magnificent haircut, as well as the usual entertaining conversation. By the time she was done, I was quite recovered from my mad dash.  On the way home, I popped into the café next door for a quick coffee, and a take out for my wife.

The next appointment is in my phone - and this one has an alarm set!

Reflection

That was excruciating. I wasted a huge amount of time trying to think of something to write about, and then ended up recounting something almost too boring for words.  I almost gave up on this one.